Recently I’ve been hearing this particular question a lot, “So, when will I meet my soul mate?” Well, it inspired me to write a blog about the subject of soul mates. Let me begin by saying that if there is one thing I’ve learned, it is that life is a never ending learning process. And I ceased to desire a normal life a long time ago, for what is normal anyway?
For whatever reason there seems to exist this ideology that when we refer to a soul mate we are strictly talking about a romantic partner who is the perfect match for us and thus will meet our every need, be at our every bec and call, fill our heart with love and we’ll be smooth sailing in bliss forever after. Well, I must ask then, “Are you ready?”, for if this is true of soul mates, then there must be someone else out there waiting for you to do and be all that for them.
It never ceases to amaze me how much we tend to seek from others that which we need to do most for ourselves. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there done that. I too once was seeking the ideal or right partner who would do and be all those wonderful things for me. But, how can we expect others to love us when we don’t love ourselves? Your husband or wife doesn’t appreciate you, you say? Then I must ask, where do you not appreciate yourself? For others are merely mirrors of how we treat ourselves.
To the contrary of popular belief it is not necessarily our romantic partner who is our soul mate. Nor do we have only one soul mate. Nor does it mean that because our partner has hurt us or hasn’t met our expectations that they are not our soul mate. Sometimes the person we least expect can be our soul mate. May be it is one of our children whom we don’t have time for because we are all consumed with work. It could be one of our parents whom we forgot to call because we are too pre-occupied with trying to find our soul mate. Or maybe it is that friend with whom we haven’t spoken for years. And sometimes it’s our fury pet who is always by our side but whom we hardly think about. And other times it’s that boyfriend or girlfriend who took off with all our money and brought us to financial ruin because we wanted to learn a lesson about money.
The best definition of a soul mate I can produce is a soul with whom we’ve traveled in other life times. We all have multiple soul mates. In fact, souls tend to travel in soul groups or soul families from one life time to the next. In my own spiritual journey I have discovered that my mother and I are soul mates, for example. I know that in another life time she had been my grand daughter and I her grand mother and yet in another life she had been my daughter and I her mother. And I’m sure there are many more lives we’ve shared. My mother and I have always had a close connection with each other to the point of sometimes knowing what the other thinks. We’ve always supported each other in our journeys even across the ocean miles. My mother resides in Europe and I don’t get to see her very often. However, her and I are close in heart and soul – and the heart and soul spans all physical distances.
Yet another soul mate of mine is my son, who is very dear to me. We’ve traveled many lifetimes together as well, playing different roles for each other. We too have supported each other on many journeys. And I have discovered that at least two of my friends are my soul mates as well. We all support each other in different ways.
Then there is my significant other, who is a very unique soul mate indeed. He is what one might call my twin soul or twin flame. For those of you who are interested, I will write another blog explaining more closely about twin flames. For now, I will just say that he is a perfect mirror image of myself and literally the other half of my soul with a bond so strong it reminds me of the song “Hotel California”, by the Eagles. “You can check out anytime, but you can never leave!” You think that’s great? Try it when you’re in pain and want nothing more than to get away. The ideal mate and smooth sailing, you ask? Far from it. The most painful and difficult relationship I have ever experienced. But don’t get me wrong. It’s also been one of the most profound, amazing and rewarding relationships. And in the end I’ve come to realize that it is not about finding the right partner or soul mate. It’s never been about that. Rather it’s been about finding myself. But one thing is for certain, you must be ready to meet your twin soul for they will challenge you to your chore. Sometimes the hardest thing is to look at ourselves.
So to sum it up, some soul mates are there to support us in our journey, others to help us learn lessons, others to help us heal our pasts and yet others to help us grow spiritually and find ourselves. Ultimately all relationships are about learning about ourselves. And ultimately we must first meet our own needs and fill our own hearts with love. No other can do it for us! We must first achieve that ideal relationship with ourselves before we can even begin to expect to achieve it with another.
But whatever your journey, I want you to know that you are being supported in many ways. Every person and all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there, including reading this blog. What you do with them is up to you. In the end it’s all about you. It’s always been about you.